How Can You Help Someone Else Declutter? 7 Great Tips

You are a decluttering ninja! Your house is spotless and your desk at work is pristine. In fact, you are such a fan of the life changing magic, the amazing benefits of decluttering that you want to share it with everyone! 

But does the “everyone” you are trying to share your excitement with agree? Is your husband on board? Your kids? Your parents? Your coworkers? 

Maybe they are but more often than not they are resistant to the idea of letting go of the things that are “precious” and “important” to them. And their resistance leads to your frustration. 

Trust me, I get it. I wouldn’t have a whole blog designed to help you declutter your home and embrace the minimalist lifestyle if I wasn’t just as excited about it as you are. So you ask, how can you help someone else declutter? How can you break through their resistance and change their life in the magical way you want to? Let’s troubleshoot that together. 

The Question That Started a Blog 

That burning question, how can you help someone else declutter, is something I have asked myself many times. 

At first it seemed easy, I would just go to my parents house and tell them what to get rid of and then disappear it for them. Well, that didn’t work. And I couldn’t throw stuff away at my cleaning jobs either. 

I realized that decluttering is a deeply personal process and all you can do is help someone see the need and support them when they are ready. That’s actually why I started this blog! To get the info out there for those who are ready. To support people like you in your journey. 

But I know that’s not the answer you want to hear. I know that you want to declutter for your husband, children, parents, and coworkers and the hard truth is this: YOU CAN’T DECLUTTER FOR ANYONE ELSE. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SUPPORT THEM. 

That being said, I’m going to share the most effective ways I’ve found to support someone as they declutter. How can you help someone declutter? By following the steps that follow!

How Can You Help Someone Declutter When They Aren’t Ready?

So, as we established, most of the time people aren’t ready to declutter when you are ready to tell them they need to. So how can you help someone declutter when they aren’t ready? How can you help them get to the point where they want to declutter?

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1: Share What Helped You Declutter 

First of all, think about what made you want to declutter. For me it was a combination of living in a tiny 300 square foot studio apartment and reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I was totally inspired, I decluttered like crazy and then I passed the book down to my mom and well, miracles didn’t happen, but it planted a tiny seed. 

Maybe you can share your favorite decluttering book or this blog with someone else. Maybe you can find an article that will help them with their biggest decluttering obstacle. Do they have a hard time decluttering books? Are they overwhelmed with paper clutter? Are they drowning in sentimental items or living in the past? Do they constantly tell you that their home is too small and they don’t have enough space? Share an article that hits their pain point. If you know they won’t read it share the points with them verbally. 

2: Make it Look Good 

Next, if they live with you or if they can visit your home or even if they can see your workspace make it look good to live a decluttered life. Declutter in front of them. Talk about what you are getting rid of and why in little ways on a regular basis. We like to be like the people we are around so it’s likely that at least some of your thinking will rub off on them. 

3: Get a Little Bit Sneaky 

The next thing you can do to help someone else declutter is sneaky. You can organize for them. This only really works in certain situations where you share common space. For example if you want to get rid of some tchotchkes in your home but your husband is attached to them put them away in a box for awhile and see if he even notices. If he doesn’t you might as well get rid of them. If he does ask, you can just tell them where they are. 

If you share filing in an office environment put the old files your coworker can’t let go of in a separate space, a different drawer, and when and if they ask for them tell them where they are. Keep the peace by making your environment more functional while respecting their wishes to keep stuff. Eventually maybe they will realize that they don’t ever get in those old dusty files. 

4: What NOT to Do When You Want to Help Someone Else Declutter 

When someone isn’t ready to declutter and you are dying to do it for them that’s exactly what you can’t do. Never, and I repeat NEVER declutter someone else’s stuff. I learned this the hard way when I decluttered for my husband. We were newlyweds in a tiny space and he had a bunch of “useless old junk” that was apparently precious to him. 

Decluttering someone else’s stuff will make them mad at you. But that’s not all it will do. It will also backfire. It will cause them to hold on tighter to everything they own. It will make them less likely to listen to your advice and it will take years before they are ready to declutter anything. Don’t do it. Patiently focus on what you can control, your stuff and not theirs.

How Can You Help Someone Declutter When They Are Ready? 

Now that you know how to help someone declutter when they aren’t ready to declutter it may seem like it will be a breeze to help someone who is ready to declutter. Not necessarily. 

There’s a big difference between wanting to declutter and actually wanting or being able to do the work. Over the years I have known a lot of people who want to declutter but never seem to get it done. Maybe they get overwhelmed by all the decision making, they don’t feel like they have time, or they have mental and physical health issues that make it hard to find energy for decluttering. 

So how can you help someone declutter when they are ready but they just aren’t getting it done? The following tips should help.

5: Help Them Physically and Mentally Do The Job 

The first thing you can do is offer your help. Tell them that you would like to help them look through their stuff, organize it and even help them sell or donate whatever they don’t want anymore. Assure them that they will make all the decisions but you will do the work of moving and getting rid of the stuff. 

Choose small spaces to tackle one at a time. Make decluttering fun! Joke about stuff, look at pictures and listen to stories. Don’t be in a rush. If they enjoy their first decluttering session they will be more likely to have you help them again.

6: Don’t Push It! 

As you start decluttering with them you might meet a new challenge. What if they don’t actually seem to want to let go of anything? Work with it. You can encourage them, reason on how they won’t use it, tell them it’s easy to get rid of, but if they aren’t ready they aren’t ready. 

Don’t give up. Keep trying. Try a different space for a while and circle back to stuff they didn’t declutter later. 

7: Declutter In The Right Order 

To help them build their decluttering muscles you can try decluttering easy stuff first. Decluttering in the right order can help a lot.

Always look for trash first. That’s easy to get rid of and even if you’re just tossing old mail and Amazon boxes it can feel like you have gained a lot of momentum. Next look for everyday items that are no longer used or needed. Save sentimental items for last. No one is ready to get rid of them without building up their strength first. 

You will find that taking it in phases like this will help the person let go of more and more even if you have to go through each phase a couple of times. 

Learn How to Help Someone Else Declutter Like a Pro! 

I hope this article has helped you come up with ideas of how to help someone else declutter. It may not work as quickly as you want it to but I promise change will come. 

It took time but eventually my husband became almost as good at decluttering as I am. Even my mom and dad let go of tons of stuff and keep things more simple than before. 

With patience, love, and some sneaky planning you can help others declutter. If you declutter in the right order you may even help someone else declutter like a pro! You can help them overcome all their fears of letting go when you give them your support on their journey! 

To learn more tips for decluttering without fear and excuses pick up your Fearless Decluttering e-book! Share it with your friends and family too!