Do you ever have the feeling you have lost yourself? Do you want to know how to feel like yourself again? I have lost myself a few times and I had to find my way out of it. Here’s what happened…
When I was first married I worked really hard to be interested in video games, and sports, and Linkin Park because that’s what my husband liked. I thought we had to do everything together and I worked hard to be the “cool wife” instead of the nerdy bookworm I really am.
I hate Linkin Park and anything involving a ball. I’ve tried and tried but video games give me a headache. But I tried and forced myself until I started feeling like I had lost myself. It wasn’t my husband’s fault. It was my own. And that’s when I had to find myself again.
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Why Do You Need to Know How to Feel Like Yourself Again?
I think a lot of people’s eyes roll when someone talks about finding themselves. I know mine do. But it’s really not as shallow of a subject as we pretend it is.
Why should you take time to find yourself or know how to feel like yourself again?
It’s important because you need to know who you are, what you like and dislike, and what your value system is if you are going to make decisions in life that you can be proud of.
Working against the grain of your own nature and talents generally leads to failure and depression.
Having a sense of who you are and self-worth, on the other hand, can help you achieve your goals. Knowing how to feel like yourself again can help you regain balance when life throws your curves. And when you know how to just be yourself you will be a lot happier in general!
How to Feel Like Yourself Again in 7 Steps:
- Do things you enjoy.
- Find a creative hobby.
- Keep learning and growing.
- Do things that make you feel right about your life.
- Be yourself. Stop trying to force yourself to be different.
- Take care of your health with self care, exercise, good eating, and rest.
- Do things to help other people and be generous.
How to Feel Like Yourself Again – Step 1: Do Things You Like
When I found myself feeling lost at the beginning of my marriage I had to stop and think about why I was feeling that way. What I realized was that I had cut all my hobbies and personal interests out of my life in my efforts to be an “adult”.
First, I decided that it would be okay if I started making jewelry and crocheting again. That wouldn’t harm anyone. I would do it in the evenings while we watched TV or while my husband enjoyed a video game. And guess what? It worked like a charm. I started to feel like myself again.
What makes you feel like yourself? Are you a creative person? An active person? What did you enjoy doing as a child?
Could you reintroduce something you used to love doing in your life? Try adding it to your week or days in small amounts and see how you feel. It might just be what you need to feel like yourself again.
How to Feel Like Yourself Again – Step 2: Be Creative
Taking my hobbies back up really helped me feel like myself again but I also struggle with up and down anxiety and over the years I have found that the only thing that really helps with that is being creative every single day.
As I mentioned before, I like to make jewelry. In fact, I made an Etsy jewelry store so I wouldn’t drown in my creations. I also like to sew, play violin, and write.
Are you a creative person? Even if you aren’t I highly recommend you take the time to play around with some paint or clay or yarn. Find a creative hobby you enjoy doing! Even if the end product isn’t great, the journey is what will help you relieve stress and feel like yourself again.
Step 3: Keep Learning and Growing
As Gretchen Rubin learned in her book The Happiness Project, “To be happy I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right in an atmosphere of growth.”
Studies show that humans are happiest when they are growing. We feel the most alive and excited about life when we are working to learn something new. That’s why approaching life with a growth mindset is vital if you want to know how to feel like yourself again!
I have felt so true and right and excited about life since I started this blog. It’s been a huge learning curve for me and I’ve loved every minute of it (well except for that time I broke my website and had a meltdown).
Learning how to work the tech, make it a business, write what you want to hear, and pour myself out on the page has made me feel like myself in a way that nothing else has in a very long time.
What about you? When was the last time you challenged yourself to learn something new?
Outside of picking a creative hobby you could challenge yourself by learning a language, pursuing a fitness goal, improving a personal quality, or trying a fun side hustle.
If you want to know how to feel like yourself again, challenge yourself!
Step 4: Feel Right
But what did Gretchen Rubin mean when she talked about “feeling right”?
Well, that means that you have to work on self-improvement so that you can live in line with your values.
In her book The Happiness Project, Gretchen talked a lot about the things she wanted to improve in herself. She worked at being less snippy, more relaxed, and more generous.
That got me thinking. There are definitely things I do that I wish I didn’t. I know I can come across as bossy and negative. Also, I tend to look for what could go wrong instead of what could go right. My Italian temper gets the best of me sometimes and one less glass of wine wouldn’t hurt anyone.
We all do things we wish we didn’t do and we all want to improve.
Gretchen tracked her resolutions on a chart. I use my planner and my “daily wins” journal.
If you want to feel like yourself start working on the things you want to improve on. You can be your true self and be better too! When you start living in line with your values you will not only feel like yourself again, you will feel good about yourself!
Feel Like Yourself Again -Step 5: Just Be Yourself
If you want to know how to feel like yourself again odds are you have been squeezing your likes and dislikes into someone else’s mold. Like a square peg in a round hole, it just doesn’t fit and it’s left you feeling like you lost yourself.
In her Happiness Project one of Gretchen Rubin’s “rules of adulthood” was to “Be Gretchin”. In line with that she strove to accept another one of her rules.
“Just because other people think it’s fun doesn’t mean you think it’s fun and just because you think it’s fun doesn’t mean other people do.”
In other words, you have to accept what you like and dislike and stop trying to push yourself against your own nature. You have to just be yourself and be ok with it.
For me, that meant giving up the idea of ever being good at any kind of sport and embracing the idea that I LOVE to read and write. I stopped pushing to play video games and started enjoying making jewelry again.
My husband and I can have our own individual hobbies and still enjoy each other’s company by doing things we both enjoy like kayaking, playing a board game, and taking a walk.
What do you really like to do? Are there things you don’t like doing that you have been pushing yourself to try for too long? If you want to know how to feel like yourself again, maybe you just need to be true to yourself.
Step 6: Take Care of Yourself
So now that you know that you can just be yourself and keep working on improvement you are probably pretty excited to try all sorts of new things. Back up! You are forgetting something!
If you want to do anything you have to be healthy and energetic enough to do it. That’s why a big part of feeling like yourself again is feeling good.
Gretchen Rubin started her happiness project with some health resolutions that were pretty simple to put into practice. She started going to bed earlier and taking a weight training class. She also took note of what she ate and started avoiding “fake food”.
For me to feel like myself again I also had to focus on my health. My husband and I made exercise a regular part of our weekly schedule. I got a water bottle I refill several times a day. We took up new active hobbies. Every morning we have a smoothie for breakfast and I try to include at least 2 vegetarian dinners each week. I also learned how to take time for self-care before burning out.
What about you? Do you have any health goals? Are there small healthy habits you could include in everyday life? Feeling good will help you feel like yourself again.
Step 7: Be Generous and Kind to Others
In her second “splendid truth” Gretchen states this:
“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”
That is such a profound statement. If you haven’t been feeling like yourself, you are tired and grouchy. When you feel that way you aren’t up for giving to others. That’s why taking steps to make yourself happy is not selfish. Not at all. Because when you are happy you can help others be happy too.
I noticed as I worked on myself, that the happier I felt the more I could do for others. I could send that anniversary card, take over that dinner, and think of that kind word. When I’m happy I don’t feel like picking on my husband or holing up all alone. And when I am kind to others I feel great! It makes me proud of myself and I want to keep doing more and more for others.
What could you do for others? When you can just be yourself and be happy you can do a lot of good in this world and that good will come right back to you in the form of joy. And guess what? When you feel happy you feel like yourself again!
Once You Know How to Feel Like Yourself Again It Will Be Easy to Choose Happiness
I know that if you start taking these steps you will start feeling like yourself again! There may be times in the future when you start feeling like you lost yourself again. I have had my ups and downs too. But the good news is, now you know how to feel like yourself again so you can always get back.
Once you learn to just be yourself and choose happiness you can start to notice and appreciate all the wonderful things in your life. Work on being present because “the days are long but the years are short”.
When you start slipping remember to “act like you want to feel” because putting a smile on your face actually tells your brain to be happy.
For more great tips and a really fun read grab Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project! I loved it and I know you will too.
Just Be Yourself and Keep It Simple
The best thing that ever happened to me was getting married and moving into a 300 square foot studio apartment. It taught me to look for the simple answer to any problem. That’s what minimalism is all about.
Because I feel that minimalism has given me so much I want to share it with you. If you want to simplify your home, your schedule, and your chores so that you have time to be yourself and chase your dreams you have to grab Doable Simplicity (minimalism for normal people). Learn more about Doable Simplicity here.
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