I grew up in a nice little tract home on a tree-lined street and I didn’t really know how much money my dad made but I knew he was always there for me.
My mom only worked outside the home a couple of times throughout my childhood and I loved doing everything with her.
I didn’t ever worry or need to feel more secure than I already did. My security blanket was my amazing family life.
But my story is not common. I look around as an adult and see that most people feel that “financial security” and a home full of things is what will keep them safe.
It makes them feel more secure to have lots of stuff. In fact, that’s a big reason they have a hard time letting go of anything. Because their nest of things is acting like a security blanket for their life.
But is having money and lots of stuff actually going to be a good security blanket? If you want to know how to feel more secure, is money the answer? In these uncertain times we desire a feeling of security more than ever but what can help us have it?
Can Money Buy Happiness?
I think we all know that money can’t buy happiness. If it could we wouldn’t see another famous person committing suicide each week.
Now I’m not saying that money doesn’t help. Even the Bible says that money “is for a protection”. It is important for us be careful about our money, have an emergency fund, and if possible live below our means. We need to do that so we have a “safety net” when unexpected things happen. Having savings can definitely make you feel more secure.
But money itself is not the answer. It can help but it’s not a good security blanket. Why not?
Because money is a promise that is often broken. The value of our money can change rapidly. We can lose it in the blink of an eye. In fact, if anything, having tons of money tends to make people feel less secure. Aren’t all rich people terrified of losing their money?
Is Keeping Stuff Going to Make You Feel More Secure
I know that deep down you agree with me about the money thing. But I also know that losing millions is probably not what you are afraid of. You are probably a lot like me. A middle class citizen of America that doesn’t have a lot of spare cash lying around.
But there is something you probably have a lot of…STUFF! Whether you got your stuff at Walmart or a yard sale you have it and you keep it and it makes you feel more secure. When you think about decluttering you stop short because you “might need it someday”.
But does stuff act as a good security blanket? Will it actually help you when times get tough?
I think you know the answer but in case you don’t, think about the millions of people who are affected by natural disasters each year. Many of them literally lose everything they own. That stuff did not keep them safe or make them feel more secure. If anything it made leaving harder.
Having a lot of stuff makes us feel safe because our society tells us that it will. However, in the long run our stuff will not protect us from sickness, natural disasters, money problems, family problems, divorce, death, or anything else. If anything all that stuff just makes those things even harder to get through.
Flexibility Brings A Unique Safety
I learned something really important about security during the pandemic. My husband and I lived below our means in a small studio apartment and we felt a measure of financial security. My dad had operated his own mobile business for over 20 years. But both my job and my dad’s job were severely affected by the pandemic and we weren’t sure how long it would go on like that.
Because my husband and I had already been living a simple life we were able to move in with my parents for the benefit of all involved. We did this not when things got hard, but rather before things got hard. The choice was made so that we could feel more secure as the situation developed further.
The decision and the move were all done within two weeks and it was actually very simple. Our flexibility is what made us feel more secure.
If my husband and I had had our own home filled with stuff that move wouldn’t have been easy. It may have taken months and included a lot of stress about meeting mortgage payments, selling a house, and getting rid of stuff. Instead, because we had a simple life, we were flexible.
What I learned from this is that flexibility doesn’t feel like a big warm security blanket but it is actually a great way to be more secure in this crazy world. The less you weigh yourself down the easier it is for you to move on and change when life throws you a curve ball.
Love Will Make You Feel More Secure
We all want to feel like we will be ok when life gets hard. It’s important to be prepared for change. But it’s impossible to know what the future holds. That’s why people want to be ready for anything with houses that could double as Walmart! They want to feel more secure by preparing for every possible eventuality.
Interestingly enough, how we feel about our stuff may have more to do with how we feel about ourselves than anything else.
One study showed that people who feel secure and loved in their relationships place a lower value on material goods and people who do not feel secure and loved place a higher value on the same things.
Literally, they asked these people to value the same watches and clothing. The people who felt insecure in their relationships thought the watches and clothing were very fancy and expensive whereas the people that did feel secure in their relationships priced everything lower.
Isn’t that interesting? That means that if you are having a hard time getting rid of stuff it’s probably because you are seeking reassurance from it. It may be time to look at your relationships and make sure they are healthy and make you feel loved. That is what will actually make you feel more secure.
Another study by the World Happiness Report said this:
“While basic living standards are essential for happiness, after the baseline has been met, happiness varies more with the quality of human relationships than income.”The World Happiness Report
Isn’t that amazing? They are actually saying that it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, as long as you have what you need your happiness comes from the health of your relationships. And as stated before, the more security you feel with your relationships the more security you will feel overall, especially in regards to your relationship with stuff.
To put it simply, if you want to feel more secure in uncertain times focus on building strong relationships instead of working all the time or buying stuff.
Now You Know How to Feel More Secure Without Money and Things!
In these crazy times, it is good to know how to feel more secure without money and things because those things can disappear quickly. This could be the day your entire perspective changes and you stop seeking illusive “financial security” and burying yourself in clutter.
Instead, you can seek a simple life which will give you more time for your family and relationships. The minimalist lifestyle can give you the flexibility to roll with the punches. That is the real way to feel more secure no matter what comes your way.
What makes you feel secure? Money? Things? Family? Community? Share your thought in the comments below!
Start the Minimalist Lifestyle Today!
There is really no reason not to start enjoying simple living! Now is the time to try the minimalist lifestyle! Learn why minimalism is good for your mental health and relationships, how it can transform your finances, so you can start having more energy and time for the things that matter!
But what if simplifying your life sounds like an overwhelming task?
If you want to simplify your life but the big bad word MINIMALISM scares you let me help! I wrote Doable Simplicity (Minimalism For Normal People) to help you get the inspiration you need to simplify your life and then take solid steps that make simple living doable for you!