3 Simple Phrases to Worry Less and Do More

Do you ever feel stuck? Are you doom-scrolling when you should be doing something productive? Do you have a lot to do but no energy or motivation to do them? 

I think we have all been there. We can’t get out of our heads and do the things we know we need to do because it all feels so overwhelming and we worry what other people will think when we finally start making our own choices. If that describes you, how can you worry less and do more? How can you solve your problems and achieve your goals? How can you finally move your life forward in the right direction? 

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You Believe What You Tell Yourself

The first thing you have to admit is this. You will believe what you tell yourself. If you tell yourself you are a failure you will fulfill that prophecy because you believe it. When you tell yourself that other people are judging you you will be too paralyzed to even try. 

I am an anxious person and a master worrier so I know. I have worried about every possible scenario for every decision in my life and I have to admit that most things turn out less bad or more neutral than I expected. Some things even turned out great! 

What made the difference in the results? A lot of the time the things that turned out well were the things I was excited about, believed in, and stayed persistent and consistent with. 

So how can you make yourself be that way in every endeavor? How can you start changing your life for the better? It’s easier than you might think. It all has to do with what you tell yourself and three simple phrases I learned from Mel Robbin’s in her book The Let Them Theory. Let’s unpack them now and see how powerful they can be!

Count Down to Go!

The first simple phrase Introduced by Mel Robbin’s in her book is “5-4-3-2-1”. She has another book called The Five Second Rule that is completely dedicated to this countdown and how it can change your life but in the first chapter of The Let Them Theory she explains how this helped her break through some serious overwhelm and decision paralysis. 

The idea of the five second rule is that you stop letting yourself put hard things off. If you need to get a job you count down five seconds and start looking. If you are afraid to try something new you count down and jump in. If you need to have a hard conversation you just countdown and start. 

Simply saying 5-4-3-2-1 can help you push past the procrastination, the fear, the overwhelm, and even the depression that might be holding you back from doing what you know you need to do. Just today counting down helped me face my biggest lifelong phobia. 

Let Them

So much of our life is wasted trying to control other people. We might not realize it but every time we try to manage other people’s emotions, keep them from judging us, try to fix their problems for them, or try to make them do what we expect them to we are actually trying to control them. We do this because we fear the unexpected. 

But how well does that really work? As Mel Robbin’s points out in The Let Them Theory controlling other people doesn’t usually work at all. Most of the time people are going to do what they want to do and you are just going to waste your worry, your energy, and your time. 

So instead of letting this idea of control, or fixing, or avoiding judgement and conflict control your life you just need to LET THEM. Let them judge you if they want to. Let them make plans that won’t work well. Let them get angry and storm out. Let them do what they are going to do anyway. Let them be adults.

This simple phrase, this mindset, frees you up to stop worrying about everyone else and start focusing on what you can control. 

Let Me 

As you start to think about the “let them” phrase and use it in your life you might notice yourself feeling better than everyone else. They can’t bother you. Who cares what they do? 

While it’s good to let go of control over others and it’s great to let go of fear of judgement, it is not good to stop caring about those around you or to isolate yourself as better or above anyone. That’s where the next phrase comes in. When you are done saying “let them” it’s time to say “let me”. This is your power move. Let me is how you can use it make your life better and improve things for everyone around you. 

Here’s how it works. You say “let me” and then ask yourself what you can control. For example, if your coworker is driving you crazy because they won’t do their work and you end up doing it for them, what can you do? Well, it’s simple. Let them not do their work. That is their prerogative. Don’t let it bother you. But then say to yourself “let me” set firm boundaries about what is my job and what isn’t. “Let me” focus on not letting my work suffer. “Let me” help them learn how to their job if they need training but then “let them” stand on their own. 

Or what if your husband is bugging you because he won’t help you around the house. Well, let him. Let him leave his clothes on the floor. Let him never take the trash out. But then “let me” not clean up his mess for him. “Let me” ask him for help instead of expecting he will see it and do it on his own. 

As you can see, when it comes to “let me” it’s all about making the decision to let the other person be an adult and responding in a calm and rational way. Actually, when you stop controlling and fixing for others you stop enabling them. You start letting them be a grown up and you stop stressing out so much too! It’s a win win win! 

Worry Less and Do More! 

Can you see how these three simple phrases could change your life? Stop and think about it and it won’t take long to realize that a lot of the stress and anxiety you feel each day comes from trying to control others, avoiding judgement, or ignoring what you can do to make things in your own life better. 

As I read Mel Robbins’ book The Let Them Theory I could see a lot of different ways I am guilty of all three of those things. Sometimes I am guilty of not treating my mom (who I live with) like an adult. I never want to post videos or pictures to my Blog’s instagram because I’m afraid I’ll look fat or dumb. And we are all guilty of doom scrolling when we could be reading or doing laundry or cleaning the house. 

But what if I didn’t do those things? What if I let the people around me do as they please, reacted as kindly and calmly as possible, and said 5-4-3-2-1 before doing something hard? I think my life would change for the better! I think I would feel less anxious and improve my relationships. And last but not least I think these three simple phrases will help me focus on my goals instead of getting paralyzed by fear. 

What about you? Are you intrigued by these three simple phrases and what they might do to help you create a happy simple life? If so, grab Mel Robbins’ book The Let Them Theory and get more a more in depth explanation of how to use them in the family, at work, with friends, and with family!